I’m sitting in my comfy chair at the Dancing Bear Guest House in Shelburn Falls, Massachusetts. This is the same bed and breakfast where I came with my husband several years ago to write The Average Buddhist Explores the Dharma. It’s a perfect writer’s retreat. My perch is covered with warm velour and has an extraordinary view of a pink and blue stained glass window. At lunchtime, I can walk ten minutes to the historic town center and work for a while at Mocha Maya’s the local coffee shop that rivals Starbucks for the quality of it’s latte. For lunch I’m known to stick to one of the locally baked blueberry muffins on display there.

As I struggle to conquer the first draft of my latest science fiction manuscript - always the most difficult and psychologically challenging part of any project - I am bothered by doubt over whether there is room in the current entertainment narrative for a story about hope. You see, as much as I enjoy stories of the struggle to conquer oppression, the current deluge of dystopias has become its own hegemony. Oppression seems to be winning. It makes me wonder if anyone wants to read about friendship and camaraderie any more? Is anyone willing to believe that life is hard sometimes, but doable with the help of family and friends?

Am I alone or are there other people out there who want to read stories about compassion, trust and love? The question is distracting me enough that I have been compelled to interrupt myself to write this post. There’s a major shenpa invasion going on here and it all started with a television spoiler. 

Ordinarily spoilers don’t bother me all that much. Even though I have advance knowledge of some plot point or other, I love a good story. The fun part is finding out how they get there. To date, there have been only two exceptions to that rule. 

The first was knowing in advance in exactly which episode the Tenth Doctor would regenerate in Doctor Who. I dreaded that episode thoroughly, but was compelled forward by the momentum of the story. My husband laughed at me as I surrounded myself with stuffed animals and a warm fuzzy blanket. When the time finally came, there was no getting around it. I cried. Those darn script writers and their final line. That darn David Tennant for being such a brilliant actor: “I don’t want to go.” Waaaaahhhhhh…<sniff>

Now I’m facing down my second dreaded spoiler, the final episode of The Glades. I didn’t know about this series when it was on the air. Netflix suggested it to me when I finished up The Finder, a heartwarming story about a man who is compelled to solve mysteries by finding lost items. I’d known all along there was only one season, since I knew one of the stars, Michael Clarke Duncan, had passed away. I didn't know how The Glades would go out.

In the three and a half seasons of The Glades I’ve watched so far I have come to appreciate how truly different this narrative is from the depressing zeitgeist of our time. Yes, the necessary plot ingredients are all present. Every episode introduces a compelling mystery to be solved. The main character, Detective Jim Longworth, is supported by a motley Scooby gang made up of the chief medical examiner, the police division chief and a plucky semi-official intern. Detective Longworth is of course somewhat rogue, but he gets the job done. So no one gets in his way. He’s cocky, but somehow everyone likes him anyway. The Glades is everything you’d expect from a contemporary police dramady. 

The difference that makes this show stand out is the relationship between Jim Longworth and the lead female character, Callie Cargill. She is a nurse who at the beginning of the series is trying to take care of her teenage son and put herself through medical school while her husband is in prison for armed robbery. Okay, you already know the convict husband is jettisoned and Jim and Callie end up together. That’s not even worth calling a spoiler in this genre. But oh how they get there!

It took a while for even me to recognize it at first, but the development of the relationship between Jim and Callie is the healthiest and most partnership-driven I’ve ever seen come out of Hollywood. Yes, they have misunderstandings. Yes, they have stupid fights. The same is true for Callie and her son. Eventually though, each time they manage to find the courage to be honest with one another. In so doing, they created an intimacy that was upliftingly authentic.

As a person who loves romance, I have been turned off by the deluge of Fifty Shades wannabes. Hollywood doesn’t do much better spitting out story after story of relationships based on three days of intense circumstance most of which involve some set of major lies. In themselves, these stories are fine. It’s the lack of any alternative narrative that is discouraging. 

In contrast, Callie and Jim got to know each other over the course of several years. They faced both personal and professional challenges. They experienced both elation and doubt in the ability of their relationship to survive, but they became gradually stronger together than they were apart. Furthermore, the show managed to present Jim Longworth as a tough and competent cop while also allowing him to be the kind of intimate partner any woman could envy. 

Back to my spoiler. 

Here it is 2015. Mr. Grey, a twisted control-freak predator got a movie and Jim Longworth got shot. That’s right. Shot. 

The fourth season ender was Jim and Callie’s wedding. I’m to understand that Jim had secretly bought a house for a wedding gift. He is there before the wedding to take care of some final details at which point he’s shot. Apparently, we don’t even know why. Shortly after the episode aired, A&E announced they were canceling the show. Even though the episode generated extraordinary ratings, rather than building on their momentum, A&E canned it without even allowing the producers a chance to give Callie and Jim their well-deserved happy ending.

Yes, it’s only television, but I’m really angry. Furious in fact. There was one show, just one among the muck that’s shoveled onto screens every year that portrayed a healthy, loving couple making it work despite the odds. There was just one show where the man could be both archetypically guy-like and a supportive intimate partner at the same time. Well, we can't allow that. So they shot him. #jimandcalliedeservebetter! 

Seriously. I want a real ending to this show a real happy ending where Jim doesn’t end up a vegetable or paraplegic from his injuries. If the show has to end, fine. Even M.A.S.H. had a final season. But give the viewers the gift of closure; the gift of story where investing in a deep, intimate relationship is worth it in the end. Give us just one story where allowing the characters to be vulnerable to one another doesn’t leave them bereft. Please! It’s only been a couple of years, A&E. The actors haven’t changed much. Give us a real finale you can be proud of as a network. Jim and Callie deserve better and so do we.

Last Thursday, it finally happened. I was hacked. It started with the notice from my internet service provider that there was malware on the Average Buddhist site and that they had shut down my whole account. Six days of back and forth with technical support and it's finally gone. Gone too is the WordPress architecture. It seems that keeping up with the precautions necessary for using an Open Source system is beyond what I have the time resources for. So I begin again.

The most obvious buddhist message in this debacle is that of the Impermanence of all things. It's what I thought of first, but as I rebuild No Ground is what really stands out for me. Why? I'm not one of those millions of people out there who uses weak passwords or who shares passwords between sites. My user names are also quite diverse. It never occurred to me that the software I was using would have backdoors open to any hacker or bot that happened by. Despite everything I try to do to protect myself (or my things or my blog or my family and friends), there will be things that happen anyway. There is no way to be in control of all of our outcomes. There is No Ground to cling to in that regard.

In No Ground though we can have experiences we might not have, like the generous support of some folks from the Facebook group who helped me understand how to retrieve the bulk of my posts from the internet ether. I had the opportunity to be grateful. Retrieving the posts gave me a change to skim them again and revisit the thoughts of Average Buddhist past.

In honor of the relaunching of the blog, I am re-posting Average Buddhist's very first blog post, which is about the most inspirational person I have had the good fortune of meeting - Arthur Lessac. I'll work on repopulating the archives over time. I hope you enjoy this new beginning.
When You Walk, Do You Feel Like You're Dancing?
(Original post date: 4/15/11)

It’s funny that the first post in a blog about Buddhism isn’t going to talk about Buddhism at all. I’m not going to talk about how much I love Pema Chödrön or expound on my insights into life. Instead, I’m going to honor the spirit of a man who recently passed away and who was for me one of the most inspirational people I have come into direct contact with – Arthur Lessac.

For those of you who don’t know of him, he is one of the great voice/movement/expression teachers of our time. And “our time” is expansive in this sense. Arthur Lessac died at age 101, only a few days after teaching an extensive course in Croatia.

Arthur Lessac (see URL below)

I met Arthur Lessac last year (2010) at a course with speech-language pathologists and singing teachers (of which I am both). One hundred years old at the time, he bench pressed a 200 pound man, led us in movement and dance exercises and spoke in a voice as clear and strong as anyone I’ve known. He exuded a joy in the exploration of life that was both genuine and inspiring.

Walking to work this morning, I thought about him and remembered how he used to encourage us all to walk as if we are dancing. Energy (NRG) will carry you in a way you wouldn’t expect. I thought about his demonstration of that last year and some clips of him in memorium that I watched yesterday. So, I started to dance to work, copying his bouncing and circular arm and leg motions and I was instantly consumed by joy.

This was the most intensely genuine emotional experience I have had in quite some time. It was akin to my experience in sitting meditation with a Zen group, when they asked us all to turn around and face the wall – WHITE. That was it. Today; JOY. That was it.

So, that is why I decided to write about everyday Buddhism. See you soon!

To learn more about Arthur Lessac’s work, visit: http://lessacinstitute.org
(link updated 1/28/15)



    If you enjoy the Average Buddhist community, you may like my book, The Average Buddhist Explores the Dharma. I wanted to write something that is entertaining and accessible to readers with varying levels of knowledge about Buddhism.

    Each chapter also features a single-panel cartoon, drawn by my husband, Teja. They provide a comic visual take on each chapter, and bring you along on the adventures of Buddhi, the dharma-seeking dog and his family as they work toward enlightenment.

    To read an excerpt or purchase a copy, click HERE


    February 2015
    January 2015


    Aha Moment
    No Ground
    The Human Condition